Saturday, 12 May 2012

See, I've always been good at Maths. My parents taught me young, and I liked it and kept working at it. Took exams early, all that jazz. And I do love it; it is fascinating, precise and beautiful in its absolute rightness. I do enjoy learning about it, watching how new things fit with old and how they all interlink into a vast landscape of mathematics.

So, because I've always done well at Maths, people always assume I'll continue to study it. So do I, I suppose. After all, I do enjoy it and would want to learn more of it.

But there's something else I'm good at too. Not in the same way - I doubt I'm anything special - but I am some sort of musician. I love music, too - listening to it, analysing it, creating it and performing it. I'm improving at all of these, as I work at them, but it's always said that only the truly amazing can make anything of music.

I was thinking recently - about university and life beyond it - and realised that, much as I love Maths, music is what makes me feel alive. There's nothing more frustrating and nothing more satisfying than it. It drives me mad and keeps me sane. And there's nothing I want more than to be some sort of musician, somehow.

Maybe that doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Maybe it's too late and I'll never be good enough in any capacity. Maybe, though, it's not; and maybe that's a risk I can take.


  1. How inspiring of you. I wish I was as brave as you are. Though you aren't as brave as Cicero, of course. NO ONE IS AS BRAVE AS MY HERO CICERO. NO ONE.

    Keep da blogs coming xox

  2. Hello! I randomly discovered your blog and I was wondering if you've heard of Vi Hart? She had a very similar conflict in her life and now works at Khan Academy. She calls herself a "mathemusician." I thought that watching her videos and maybe emailing her or something might help you figure things out. Anyway, good luck.

  3. Ah, thank you! No, I hadn't heard of her; I shall have to take a look!